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Valentine’s is coming up. Better known as “Single-Awareness Day” haha I’m kidding, but sometimes it can feel this way. I can remember several Valentine’s Days when it did feel this way. So for the girl who is feeling lonely in her singleness because Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching, I wrote this for you.
It wasn’t until recently that I stopped saying I was lonely. In my season of singleness, I feel like I have finally reached the point where I have stopped dwelling on the “lonely” and started praising God for the alone time I have with Him. The GOAL of singleness is to stop dwelling on the lonely time and to start praising God for the alone time we have with Him! Click To Tweet
In my freshman year of high school, people were asking me why I had never dated before. The real answer was that my parents wouldn’t let me have a boyfriend. But there also wasn’t anyone that I really liked anyway. I didn’t care too much about boys in elementary school and middle school…like a lot of young girls.
Then in high school, I was introduced to the term lonely. My friends started hanging out with their boyfriends on the weekends and going on dates while I was at home. That was no fun! It seemed like everyone had a boyfriend but me (so not true, but it felt that way).
By the end of my freshman year, there was a guy who was pursuing me, and I thought, well at least I won’t be lonely anymore, at least I will have someone to go on dates with and hang out with. So I dated him, not because I saw potential in that relationship, but because I was LONELY (red flag). 🚩
DATING IS NOT THE ANSWER TO YOUR LONELINESS.
Even though my parents told me this in their own way, I didn’t listen. I thought, what do they know?!? Well, let me tell you they knew a lot! And maybe your parents or mentors have told you this before, but you just need to hear it from someone else. Hopefully, my story can encourage you today, and I can be that someone else for you.
If you think (like I did) that a boyfriend is the solution to your loneliness, then you’re searching for contentment in the wrong place. We’ve all had a thought along this line:
“When I have a boyfriend/fiance/husband then I will be content.”
The problem with this thought process is that our contentment is being attached to a person who, just like us, is much less than perfect. Our contentment can only come from God (Philippians 4:11). We may not recognize our feelings of loneliness as discontentment, but that’s exactly what they are. And while loneliness may be a real emotion, we must learn to rise above our feelings by putting our focus back on a faithful Savior.We must learn to rise above our feelings by putting our focus back on a faithful Savior. Click To Tweet
So how can we be content in our singleness?
You know what has helped me get to this point. It’s really simple, yet so profound.
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
Simply put, be still and know that He is God. Trust Him with your loneliness. Instead of dwelling on the fact that you don’t have a boyfriend, ask God to help you mature in your faith and to groom you into the girl/woman that He wants you to be. Jump at every chance you have to spend alone time with God and give him your undivided attention.
When we get our eyes off of the FEELING and back on the one who is FAITHFUL, that’s when we will have true contentment.